Don’t Come Back Until Dinner
I don't know about you, but when I was young, my mom would say, "Go out and play, and don't come back until dinner." Most of the time, that's exactly what I did, and thinking back, that's pretty crazy on a couple of different levels. The world now is much less trustworthy. You would be worried if your child didn't check in or if you didn't know exactly where they were for that stretch of time. My point is this, albeit we have more responsibility as adults but we may have forgotten some of the value of our play.
I was walking the trail today and saw the honeysuckle plant growing all over, at least; that's what we called it back in the day. Its sweet aroma filled the air and hinted at the treasure stored in its blossom. It's been some time since I've plucked the nectar from the honeysuckle and experienced it as the treat I remember in my childhood. Moving further along, I had another reminder of my childhood innocence in the "helicopter" plant, and the seedpods spiral to the ground when blown from the tree or tossed in the air. I can remember building forts in the woods and thinking we could survive here living on wild onions and berries; okay, childhood imagination going wild, and I likely would have needed more survivalist skills to meet the expectations of my grand plan. Winter came, and we played all day long in the basement or our bedrooms when not in school. We had a spare bedroom and had it permanently set up as a classroom and pretended to play school; what was I thinking?! As we grow into adolescence, we move away from imagination and trade in play for all the noisy concerns that exist in the grown-up world.
It's no wonder that in the United States, we have high levels of stress, anxiety, and work alcoholics. Did you know there's even a treadmill that will allow you to move as you're working from your stand-up desk? Could it be that we have moved so far away from the concept of play in the name of success that we're missing some of its inherent value? In addition, electronic devices and technology play a significant role in our perpetual distraction and sensory overload.
Play is about connection and joy. We love to laugh, play together, and experience joy; we are pack animals. Ideally, play allows us to be seen and heard in a safe setting physically and emotionally while connecting. Socially, we withdraw from that simplistic concept when we are plugged into our devices more than we are to other humans. Especially important for children's play is how they experience their imagination, discover, and engage with the world around them. Play is shown to be critical to a child's healthy development and social interaction skills. There's a child within us all that still loves and needs to play. Is undervalued play in our society contributing to the increased levels of mental health concerns? In our culture, we have the idea that play is frivolous and not a necessary ingredient to our well-being. If we can prioritize play, our children will learn by example in a thriving environment of creativity, art, music, and imagination. By demonstrating that it's safe and fun, they will have the opportunity to learn how to connect and express themselves confidently with others. I've always said to watch how your children naturally play, this is where their strengths lay and how they express and develop their personalities, and parents have the advantage of nurturing and helping them potentially grow into their innate strengths for success.
I know things change and evolve, and I am grateful for evolution and technology. I am also thankful for life's simpler things and playfulness; it reduces stress and stress hormones, bringing back a little balance. How do we bring silliness and more play back into our lives? First, we allow ourselves to play, laugh, explore, and be silly. Nurture creativity, maybe through art or music. Although you may discover one, you don't have to be an artist or musician; enjoy it on whatever level brings you joyful play. For some, play is an adult coloring book or simply dancing to your favorite music, and don't forget to sing out loud. Invite a few friends to hang out and play a game. In the days before television and cell phones, that's how we spent time together. Plan a family game night or a friend's monthly game night; it's relatively free and a good dose of endorphins. Adult play reduces stress by reducing cortisol levels, possibly even temporarily reducing pain, promoting a sense of well-being. Invite friends or family members to share suggestions for play generating a collaborative effort working together as a group. Get outdoors, grab a bike, or explore the woods.
Re-engage in a sport or creative expression that you enjoyed as a child. Challenge yourself to draw a hopscotch or pitch pennies in your driveway. Connect with the inner child and remember what and how you played. Maybe it's not Barbies anymore unless you're playing with your child or grandchild, perhaps it was playing with your easy bake oven, but now you're a grown-up and can bake with the real oven! You get the picture. There are many adult sports leagues, individual sports, and creative guilds. Social isolation and depression are growing concerns as adults live longer, and you want to live to be a healthy older adult. Keep your communication and critical thinking skills sharp by playing cards, bingo, trivia, crafting, and finding ways to stay mentally, physically, and emotionally engaged. Sharing laughter and fun can foster empathy, compassion, trust, and intimacy with others. Stay young at heart if you suffer from a "play deficiency," then invite back and re-discover the simple magic of play and what that is for you in your world.
Now Get Home For Dinner!
Stay Well And Be Happy,
XO Donna
